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My brother killed himself on the 5th of December 2007. My family and I are still at the beginning it seems of what will be a long road to forgiveness, healing and acceptance. This is what I read at my brothers funeral. It is only part of a story that right now I can't even manage the words for. I used to have such a good handle on words, I could use them to explain everything, every situation, thought, feeling. Now it seems I have lost my words. I want them back again, but not at the price of the pain and anguish I feel right now. Adrian was my brother, we disagreed, passionately, on pretty much everything. Adrian was my hero and my nemesis, we fought, we made up, we ignored, we poked each other, pulled faces, teased, we dobbed on and protected each other and he dropped me on my head in high school. When I was a kid maybe 6 or 7, possibly younger, I had these hideous green knitted gloves, but I loved them. I could never beat Adrian in a fight, but when I wore these gloves, I was invincible. I could beat Adrian with one hand behind my back because I had my power gloves on. It took me years to realise that I never did beat Adrian because of those stupid gloves. I didn’t win because I was stronger, or because I was better. I only won because my big brother let me. I won’t hear him call me sissy again; I won’t hear him tell some poor guy who had the misfortune to talk to me “What are you doing? That’s my sister!” My children will never really know their Uncle. I always thought we had time, and now I realise that time is fleeting. My heart is broken, for all of us who are left behind, for lost chances, for memories undone. I can only wish now that Adrian could see how many people loved him. Adrian was my brother and I loved him. Today, just like yesterday, Just as it will tomorrow The sun came up. I don’t want it to; I want it to be dark Black like the way I feel inside I want to cry and rage against the fates Against an unknown stranger Against anyone, everyone Myself, You. I want someone to take this back Tell me it’s a mistake A horrible joke Anything but this aching pain I feel right now This emptiness This guilt This little sister crying for her lost brother I want to hate you Or love you But all I feel is numb Shaken to my very core

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My partner of 6 yrs killed himself on the 6th april 2007. He left 4 children that loved him heaps. And me a aingle mum again and a vey lonely person. he was 39 yrs old and never showed me signs of depression, he lost his other child at the age of 2yrs 15 years ago to sids. I miss him and i will always love him..... RIP MNC 14/12/67- 6/4/07

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Not quite two years yet and the pain still goes on, not from what she did but from what is left behind, the legacy! Trying to pick up the pieces isnt that easy, but hey life goes on I guess. Why should ours end just because they choose to end theirs? Easier said than done right! One selfish act can destroy so many lives, especially when there is no answers. Move on, we at least owe that to ourselves, but never ever forget!

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What a wonderful site. So many sad stories. I hope people find solace in reading them. Keep up the good work.

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12mths since you left this life, I miss you like crazy. Surely you knew how much we cared, loved and needed you. I hope you are at peace now, love you forever your sister xoxo Things haven't been the same Since you've been gone. For a while I wondered How I'd carry on. The emptiness inside, It aches all the time. That is the reason why I am writing this rhyme. When I heard the news, I didn't know what to do. It happened so suddenly, It just couldn't be true. They said you'd passed on, And you weren't coming home. You'd gone on to Heaven, Where your soul could roam. I cried all day And I cried all night. I say I'm okay, But I'm not quite alright. How can I pretend That I'm not still in pain, And wipe away the tears That fall like rain? I'll remember that day, The day that we met, And your smiling face I will never forget. This is my promise, A vow I'll keep evermore: You'll be in my heart Until I reach Heaven's shores.