Comments:
Thanks you so much for sharing this very insightful letter with me, and the world. You have crystallised so many things in this letter for me...its almost as if I could just change the names and the story would be (almost) identical to mine. I had 10 years of marriage to someone with BPD. It turned out she was diagnosed with this before we met but she kept it from me. It has taken me 3 further years to heal myself of all the hurt and damage. I lost some of the best years of my life by making myself think that things would somehow get better, that I could somehow heal her...my advice to anyone is that if their partner is not taking any responsibility for their behaviour, then get out. Talk to friends about it, get help. Anyway thank you again.

Comments:
I've been living in OZ nearly 20 years. I sent a 2 page letter to my 3 adult children 21 months ago informing them of the changes I must make in my relationship with their Mom. My daughter told me to go buy "Stop Walking on Eggshells". I did, and by the time I got to page 60 I knew what I was faced with for the rest of my life. The clinical psychologist I'm working with told me my wife is so far "over the top" you'll never be able to get her to seek treatment. My journal is 100 pages, single spaced and goes back to 1982. I only wish I had known about Eggshells 20 years ago. Dr. Phil would not touch this one - it's too far gone. I'm the guy described on page 79, my BP is incapable of handling her emotions, finances and health care. I'm doomed to be the lifetime caretaker even before the long term care search begins. I should have started my research sooner. Had I done so - I'd be a free and divorced man. Thanks for listening and rsponse if you like. Dick in Va.