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I can't help but notice the fact that I still don't have my own CC.C sanctioned column. I believe it is my birthright as an American citizen, who is ALSO a wonderboy, to have one. I rule intergalactically to the power of 7. I have just been appointed Pimpmaster General-in-Arms of the tiny island nation of Togo, not to be confused with "Toga", which is just local slang for the city just north of here where all the rich socialites go to waste their money in the summer rather than helping worthy, charitable causes like ending world hunger, curing AIDS, developing cleaner burning fuels, and getting JoshO's mother in bed with me. Yes, I'm resorting to "your mom" jokes, because I'm feeling very petty at the moment. Pettier than Richard, Tom, and Lori combined, and then multiplied by the square root of pie, not "pi", "pie" as in "poontang". I apologize for the second mathematics reference, for as FG fans like Josh and I know, mathematics is nothing more than the lesbian cousin of biology. I also realize I'm dwelling more on the dearth of ass that's been headed my way recently, which is why i truly believe I should write for CC.C. I've seen pictures of many girls on this site, who I think would find me attractive, and want to do things to me that would be illegal in most states (but "illegal" in that fun, dirty, sexual way, not "illegal" as in dismemberment and mutilation, because that would REALLY suck). Anyways, I realize I'm prattling on like a schoolgirl who didn't take her Ritalin, but suffice to say I demand recognition as Grand Duke of All that is Righteous and Funky at CC.C.

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the problem with Mrs. Butterworth is that her husband is incredibly jealous, he caught us together one time and tried to stab me with a butter knife. True, the sex was good, but it's not good enough to risk being maimed by a tiny plastic bottle man. That little fucker is crazy.

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J-Lo is whack my friend....syrup huh, I'd rather spend the $2.00 and suck from Mrs. Butterworth's nipple than J-Lo's anyday.... Please can everyone get off her nuts!!!

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I think I, Shavo the Wonderboy, (aka Shavo Das Wunderkind) should have a column, extolling my greatness to the world, finding those willing to follow me, to be my minions, and also, if I'm lucky, pick up some chicks. I haven't gotten tail in a while, and I think that writing for CC.C would be the best way to do so, because every girl who would read my article would instantly fall under my charismatic spell of love, desire, and mojoliciosity, and every guy who read my words would say: "DAMN, this Shavo guy is AWESOME! He should totally bang my girlfriend" and I would. I would make sweet sweet love to your girlfriends, my friends, and they would thank you for allowing me to do so. I'm just that good. I happen to speak Spanish, the language of love (yes, it has officially surpassed French and Italian as the language of love, due to the large amount of teenage girls and confused young men who cream themselves over the likes of Ricky Martin and Enrique Iglesias, not to mention all the guys who want to tap J-Lo's ass, I have, btw, and maple syrup came out, SEXY maple syrup). Anyways, back to the point I was making before I was distracted by the thought of waffles covered in maple syrup freshly tapped from J-Lo's ass.... I forget what I was talking about.... anyways, give me a column, for I am: SHAVO THE WONDERBOY!!!!

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spending time on the page I began to wonder something... who is Cal Heinle to have a front page article? A man who sells out his own college in favor of another, a man who claims to be a republican but rips on his president, a man who claims billy joel is inferior to Bruce Springsteen, and a man who once utterred the phrase "the best driving music ever is the Alman Brothers Decade of Hits". I say banish Heinle to the remote wastelands of the page archives. I'm talking eleven clicks deep in the quote of the day archives. Heinle has consistently refused my request to have a counter section to his articles. He is afraid and rightfully so. And don't think I'm done with you Cathy, the man with a girls name. Jeeze isn't that clever. Call me Joe Mcarthy because this is a bonified witch hunt, and heinle rides a broom stick. I want a piece of you Heinle, and the more you hide behind your bad journalism and your flawed arguements, the more I will continue to expose your yellow journalism. You only get away with it because you're in bed with the webmaster. By the way, who's pitching and who's catching tonight fellas??

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Hannon "kansa City Keith" Good point my friend. Maybe i will have the pleaseure of meeting you one day. just to let some people know that many on this page are not "drunk college, hockey players", Well maybe I used to be but i know the publishing business as well. i worked my way through the rank of a succesful publishing co.... and no my work may not go to the 18-25 losers like us but, my work is seen by real proffesionals...people who make the buildings you are working in, people who who own the restaurants you eat in, people who hold and invest your hard earn money...basically people who run this country and the people that matter. Clevercitizen is not a Joke... I have VOICe and it is CC.C

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no offense (bc i wanted to work for maxim also) but stuff isnt really that funny; actually its really pointless unless you have lotion and the IQ of tenth grader. Bman for governer