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I only have one word and that is "Faith". Faith is the complete and total trust and belief in the unknown or unseen. We have never seen Jesus, Jehovah or Satan but deep down in our gut, we know they exist. I think the Bible uses the word faith so much, because the authors of the book knew that there would be sources out there meant for us to question our own beliefs, during a system ruled by Satan, doesn't it make sense that some of the literture we have access too would be twisted and misleading. Satan wants us to question EVERYTHING we have ever been taught because he doesn't want to die alone, misery loves company..What the Bible does at the very least is provide hope for something better, something wonderful and glorious, where as this system only provides the hope of growing old and dying and all the pain and torture associated with that....I opt for the wonderful and glorious hope.

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hi jeanv. thank you for your suggestions. i think there is no workaround for getting things straight, but search for answers. sometimes i virtually cant breath with such a burden on my shoulders. so many questions, so many things to check that a whole lifetime wouldnt be enough. at the end one needs faith nevertheless. and there is no difference between having faith in jw's believes or in other believes (except the fact that other believes may be more accepted by other people). in the end everything is just believe in something someone else has said and found out (or made up). the percent of real knowledge about things is very few. to take it to the extreme: even the fact that earth is a sphere is some kind of faith for me, because i never was in person in an orbit to check it back ;) thank you! its nice to see that one is not alone. marcel

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marcel, I can sympathise with you, my situation is not very different. Just take your time and examine the facts trying to be as neutral as possible. Do it independently of the fight. Go to museum, read books, look at websites like caeno.org, livius.org etc... for those that believe jehovahsjudgement.co.uk is a good website I strongly advise to go to http://jeffreyd.no-ip.com/wordpress/index.php/jehovahs-witnesses-and-1914/response-to-607-website/ you'll find a lot of scriptural and historical answers.

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im so sick of those arguments. both partys agressively disgrade the other side and shoot "evidences". im still a jw since 11 years. im raised in the truth. i have many many thoughts in my brain which questioning my whole belief and makes me fear the future. i fear whether ill stay JW, i fear loosing all my social contacts, i fear to be misleaded (in either way), i fear to cause trouble in my family and loosing my wife. i fear armageddon. i fear living a lie. i fear, i fear. i was fantasizing about suicide far more than once. when i attended the last big congress i cried hours in my hotel room wanting to be dead scaring my wife. i just cant stand that fight inside my brain. one side fighting for the slave, one for my doubts. this never ending fight drives me crazy. literally. one just cant escape this. i prayed to god for help and ive encountered more doubts just short after the prayer. i wished to be not born as JW to never need to think about those things and maybe just die in armageddon if it occurs. i always thoughts shunned jw are crazy, because often they act so stupid. spitting hate, doing more sins than the average guy from the world. now i know why those things happen. the social and psychological pressure can be so immense that noone can survive it healthy. and no, i dont know what i could be better than staying with the "truth". the truth is my only home and i cant see any religion doing better. i cant imagine a better life outside the organization. but: i just cant live a lie. i cant pretend being a good jehovahs witness much longer. i hate this acting day by day - the fear someone could know my secret thoughts. i dont know how long i can stand this. maybe everything is true and im a victim of satan. who can know that? maybe ill die in armageddon because of all this. maybe i die and have a second chance after ressurection. this is so crazy, man. i cant believe that this is the world. it must been a dream or something. if you love someone and you know hes in danger. and you send him a letter to warn him. wouldnt you write the letter in clear words to ensure he understands and can save himself? thats what god did with the bible... so one of my craziest thoughts is: so, why should we need to calculate such crazy things like 1914 on so many unsure facts? why needs everything be so complex that we need whole librarys with literature to understand it? why does even the slave so many mistakes over the years. why they change the doctrines so much? why even they cant see the bibles message without problems? doesnt sound like a easy to read message to me... sounds not like that i would expect when someone needs to send a important message to loved ones. crazy, i wanna die.