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I dont know..... Give a cricket club a leg to stand on, and they use it to kick you up the arse! You boys are obviously so overblessed with talent, that you dismiss the offer of a quality bowler. Does that mean that I wont have to put on my breathing apparatus to see Keyworth in the league table this year, and not risk suffering "the bends" when I come back up from so far down?!?!

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Cotters try Kimberly, you spent most of last season stuck up Blathers arse, on the rivals message board.

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Cotters great to hear from you but I am afraid we are not looking to start a 3rd team. Plumtree have a cracking social scene, suggest you try them.

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My contract with Clifton has been terminated by "mutual consent" so am now looking for a new club. That lot at Clifton took it all far too seriously, so I need a club that think more about the contents of the tea interval and the pub, than batting averages etc. Can you suggest anyone?? I can still send down a quick one, and if all else fails, you can use me as a rake to retrieve the ball from the Vicarage following another Bobby long-hop. Look forward to hearing from you.

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JC apologies for the long delay but it is now confirmed that Lance Klusener will join Keyworth after his brief spell with Notts. Kingy and Lance opening the batting with Baker and Kitchinson 3 and 4. Does anybody still play Cricket ??.

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JC apologies for the long delay but it is now confirmed that Lance Klusener will join Keyworth after his brief spell with Notts. Kingy and Lance opening the batting with Baker and Kitchinson 3 and 4. Does anybody still play Cricket ??.

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I've just read in tonight's Evening Standard that Keyworth are favourites to sign Hansie Cronje as their Overseas player this season. If there's anyone still out there, is there any truth in the rumours ?

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Bobby will you send my apologies to Cliff, afraid I can't make the AGM. Speaking of AGM's how did the PRI AGM go ??. Myself and Jitz are waiting for a copy of the minutes. I assume it has gone ahead by now, the new Wembley stadium is taking less time to sort than this bloody AGM. Up the Inca.

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Bobby will you send my apologies to Cliff, afraid I can't make the AGM. Speaking of AGM's how did the PRI AGM go ??. Myself and Jitz are waiting for a copy of the minutes. I assume it has gone ahead by now, the new Wembley stadium is taking less time to sort than this bloody AGM. Up the Inca.

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Bagpuss. KCC teas are the only premier league leagacy of the club these days. Have you seen the girth on most of the squad? The skipper clearly leads by example at the front of the trough. I can see you tucking in nicely to Jean's onion bhajis come May. 20 overs up the hill? And bring your mate Horsborough, he could do with fattening up.