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Hello Robert, Would you mind returning that chest protector I sent you for Xmas? I hear that you won't be needing any additional padding against the quickies this season.

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Skip Heard that you may be struggling for an opening bowler next season. I reckon I could bowl a wide, three long hops and two full bungers in an over like your premier spinner - any chance of a game ? By the way - is it true you got that shirt from The Artist Formerly known as Ponce ?

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Ma dawter ad a deesturbin email this mornin calling er a ladyboy. Da ya know anyfin abou it.

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Thanks lads for sending Rob Baker up The Key last night. Did you forget to tell him that it wasn't fancy dress this year?

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I understand the Tavern Boys are struggling with penalties this season. I think I could be the answer?

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Sticky when I said I wanted Gudjohnsen I hope you didn't think I wanted the Chelsea muppet. Trust you have me down for the super Gudjohnsen who scored today before Notts came on the pitch.

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Sticky and Karen - Just a short note to say thankyou so much for inviting me to your do last night. I had a great time. Happy new Year

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Right then game on for the tenner. Indentify yourself prior to the game as you will be covered in blood and bruises after the first 10 minutes, and don't worry about the car washing i'll just rob you and your pussy mates before the game, my snout tells me your that you and the whole team are just a bunch of girls who don't like a little bit of aggro on the pitch. So bring your middle class mummsy's with you for a spot of first aid.I would have said birds but I bet you hav'nt had a bird for ages have you, you bent git.

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You are totally correct in your statement about me being a south of the river middle class lad (& proud of it), as i am correct in assuming you are a thick tosser from the other side of the trent (who's grammer is incorrect in the spelling of didn't)!! Come & have a go if you think your hard enough!!! ps I'll have a tenner on it with you - plenty of cars for you to wash to afford that though hey!!!

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Who is this Bobby,one thing for sure is win or lose that lad will need a lift back to the Queens. Any way I did'nt think that middle class tossers played such a working class game. Stick to cricket, well perhaps not looking at the averages.

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Super Tangs don't worry you're already through to the semis - there's no way more than two people own a car in Bulwell so they'll have to joyride to get here only to be met at Platt Lane gates by Jack and Joe's no.1 copper PC Malik who will arrest them. Jobs a good un. Evening All.