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Bally, fret not, the truth will soon be out there. I am in possession of the 2000 averages but cannot release them for legal reasons until Rob's bowling figures have been hand counted in triplicate.

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Dear Robert, As ever you are somewhat selective with the truth. Your view on the true all rounders needs to be taken with a large pot of salt. I shall avoid the obvious jibe about waist size and merely point to the number of innings it has taken you to reach the magic 1,000. Considering how you 'float' your batting position to take advantage of the opposition pie throwers, you must be embarrased that it has taken almost 100 knocks to get to this milestone? Yours, The Bearded Wonder.

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In reply to Stats mumble jumble I put it to you that Kitch has always been on when the batsmen are finding there feet. As an opening bowler batsmen take a while to get going and that is the reason Kitch has been a little more economic. Unfortunately after Kitch had enabled them to get there eye in and we needed a stock bowler to keep things tight at the end of games, this is when I have been thrust into action. An economy rate of 4 when bowling at the tail end of games is quite respectable. Tight bowling does not get wickets and we all know that wickets mean bonus points. The reason Kitch did so well was because cunks like me can catch the ball, however when the boot is on the other foot it is amazing how many of my catching chances fall to Kitch !!. Once again the 200 averages will be very disappointing for all Bally fans out there as once again I have been unable to get at the crease with our full pronged spin attack. Bring back Dimp for captain I used to get a bowl with him, and a free bag of socks from Tweedies.

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Checked my entry has made it onto seasiders website (Mon entries) to insult my FL nomination - don't recognise too many others - as uncle stick says, get abusing & get McMahon the boot!!!

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Just to put the record straight only 3 players in the last ten years can claim to be genuine all rounders. Namely, 1000 runs & 100 wickets. T Hepburn who emigrated as soon as promotion to the quality 1A league was gained & he had the sense to realise his trundlers would go where the rest of our seam attacks did (Junior School). Tony Newby who retired to fetch his bowling from all over the county, this will amuse him until his mid 40's or he gets the sand out from his toes in 1H for Cotgrave.This leaves the Skipper - part of the spin twins (trio when Woz turned up - not 4some Druers as your Kak!!)that left us with some pride as another 20+ wickets were achieved. The attacking instincts with the bat that didn't meet with Mark Nicholas's, alias Stick's approval, were not there this year. Rob, like Nasser will switch to a no 5 role next year, where as a correct orthodox run machine will accumulate runs to entertain the public once again. In summary the club has one genuine all rounder - THE SKIPPER !!!!!

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Bally, a few observations: 1) Qualification to be classed as a 'bowler' in 1999 season was 15 wickets. Sorry mate - you don't get in.(Even Kitch got 15 wickets) 2) Meanest bowler in '99 ? - Of the recognised bowlers, you had the worst economy rate by some way. I (and most of the opposing players) would suggest you are rather generous, not mean. 3)Looking at ten year stats, I notice you average 9.44 with the bat. Only Kitch fared worse. 4) Again, you have the worst economy rate over ten years. The only bowler to be pasted for over 4 an over throughout a decade. If I were you I'd keep quiet until the 2000 averages are released.

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SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY !!!!!!!!!!!! Sightings have been made that one of our members was seen in conversation with Scumtree players on Sunday at Trent Bridge. A emergency meeting should be called for & this person should be drilled out of our Club.