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If Hughie the Heifers match report cant get our boy into the first team now we give up ! He must be a cert now he is playing like the rest of them !!

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Lads ever thought of having a casino night to raise more money. It's laughable how much we take off your muppet's every saturday night !!. Messrs King, Ball, Baker, Jani and Dessaur get plenty of overtime in this week !!. Yours in sport Stakis Croupiers

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Will the real slim shady please stand up !!. Not you JC

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Never in all my long golfing life have I had to take cover so many times from an idiot shouting 4 all day. To my suprise this was not a fellow golfer but some cowboy on a cricket field. Do we hit golf balls on your pitch. Mind you lads I did use your ball on the 2nd as it landed only a few feet from the pin !!. Funny though coming back up to the 18th 2 hours later we never heard or saw a cricket ball.

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I cannot believe all the abuse my best man and your skipper has been getting. He has lost loads of weight, very unfare, poor Bobby.

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In reply to the Andy Cowlard fan club. I understand your hero is averaging over 40 with the bat and less than 10 with the ball. He really will have to work at reversing these figures to have a chance of demotion to the 1st XI.

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Dear Sir, Please could you tell me to whom I should address my bill for repairs to the Gedling Colliery cricket fence? In my opinion the impact can only have been caused by a backside of 40-42 proportions. Never in my 34 years of fencing have I seen such damage to my wire mesh.

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Top Tip for Drurs, avoid waiting for a doctors appointment by making one for 9.00am every morning. If in the unlikely event you wake up feeling well or haven't injured yourself getting out of bed simply phone up and cancel it!!!!!!!!

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Message to the Andy Cowlard fan club, having seen the young calf at close quarters yesterday I can only assume you all buy your beef from out local butchers in Queniborough, North Leicestershire. Cowshot, Cowpat and Mad Cow Moo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Any room for another fat lad in your side? I'm 18 stone, have a glass back and play a show pony innings once in a blue moon.

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Boys, Had a technical hitch with the old guestbook. For some reason the guestbook host is no more. Sadly we've lost the quality fat lads banter over the past few weeks. Rumour has it that both Bobby and PukkaPies have had their hackers working overtime