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Thank you for having this website. I'm in training now for an intensive-care type of Foster Parenting program called Therapeutic Family Care, and the social workers at our last session told us "it's not a question of if, it's a question of when". They did not go into ANY DETAILS AT ALL about what happens, step-by-step, when an allegation is made. I think that is unexcusable. I asked, in front of all the students and parents "when a child makes a false accusation, what is the 'consequence' (that is, for lack of a clearer word, 'punishment') to the child? The social worker answered that there is no consequence and we all "just move on". Two things strike me: 1) The social workers deliberately hide crucial info from potential foster parents during the training process. When the worst, and inevitable, happens, the social workers can say "we warned the parents during training", but in reality their warnings are deliberately inadequate and vague; 2) One major reason why the foster children repeatedly make such false allegations is that they face no real consequence for such behavior. Therefore, even the foster child is being harmed, because any such behavior is surely inappropriate and surely one of the tasks of the foster parenting system and of the social workers and foster parents is to teach the child how to behave properly and what kinds of behaviors are unacceptable. I'm not sure anyone even bothers to explain carefully to these children exactly what happens to the foster parent and the family when the child makes a false allegation, so I don't think the child can even be blamed for making false allegations that appear to be non-events from the child's perspective. I need to know more. I'll look at your website carefully and contact you. Also, I'm requesting permission to discuss your website during the foster parent training (the social workers will probably try to shut me up and I'll be black-listed), and to print key pages from your website to give to the social workers. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you again for having this important website. I know what an effort it is to have and maintain a website and I need you to know that it is very much needed and appreciated. ...D.

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If you are considering becoming foster parents, know this -- everything said here is true. If you are foster or foster/adopt parents, may God be with you and your family. False allegations can destroy you. Being betrayed by a child you consciously chose to love and rescue will change forever the way you look at the world and your fellow human beings. If you are not foster parents yet, save your family.

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I stumbled upon your website, looking for info on foster parenting. Now I'm not sure I want to be involved in the process. What a nightmare you're experiencing. I'm going to keep an eye on your situation before I proceed with any foster parenting plans. In the mean time I will keep you in my prayers that the truth will come out and your family will be restored. God Bless you and be with you. Linda

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we had two sisters for 1 1/2 yrs who had been sexually abused by their mom boyfriend, we asked not to have this kind of children but werent told of this at time of placement, well it happened to the oldest age 9 acussed my husband od 28 yrs of abusing her . and yes we have been crushed and feel very alone,I reported this child constantly of her problem with lying. no one calls us from social service we have had to spend our money hiring an attorney to protect us , This has been a terrible time for our family !It would be nice if we could have some moral support from other familys with experence to encourage us at this sad time.

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What a terrific site. Stumbled onto it looking for info on fosterparenting. We have fostered for 10 years without an allegation (knock wood) but it is always good to know what to do if... Thanks for informing those of us who remain somewhat naive. You do all of us a great service. Bonnie

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I am totally shocked at your story. I am now reconsidering becoming a foster parent. I think there definately needs to be a restructering of the way allegations are handled.

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My husband and I will be new foster parents, we are very excited about it. We should get our first placement in June. Most likely boys from 4-9 yrs. of age. I think it is just awful what your family has been going through. It really brought tears to my eyes, I will be praying for you. Bless you for all you are going through for these children.

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